How to Unlearn “Shoulds” and Reclaim Who You Truly Are
⏲️Estimated Reading Time: 8 Minutes
Published on: March 29, 2021
Updated on: July 13, 2025
Have you ever looked around at your life and thought, “How did I get here?” Maybe you’ve spent years doing what you were supposed to do—being the partner, employee, mother, daughter, and woman you thought the world wanted. But somewhere along the way, you lost sight of you. This blog is your wake-up call—and your permission slip—to break free from the conditioning that shaped you and rediscover the powerful woman within. Let’s dig into how you were programmed, and more importantly, how you can start designing your life on purpose.
The Conditioning You Didn’t Ask For
From a young age, most of us are handed a script:
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Be pretty, polite, and agreeable
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Choose security over dreams
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Don’t be too loud, too bold, too much
- Put others before Yourself
Our subconscious soaks up these messages from family, culture, media—and we often live by them without realizing it. You might wake up one day and wonder why you’re in a career, relationship, or routine that doesn’t reflect you. It’s not your fault—it’s conditioning. But once you see it, you get to change it.
If any of this is hitting close to home, then the next video is a non-negotiable. I’ve watched it more times than I can count (and yes—there were tears 😭). It’s raw, real, and heartbreakingly honest in the most soul-shaking way. Once you’ve seen it, you won’t look at your life—or yourself—the same way again. You’ll feel a deep pull to reconnect with the real you, the one who's been waiting beyond the noise and expectations. So go ahead—press play. The gate’s been open all along. It’s time to walk through it.
How to Start Reclaiming Who You Really Are
Reprogramming your life starts with conscious awareness and small, daily shifts. Here are tools and tips from thought leaders like Nicole LePera and Glennon Doyle to begin your journey:
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Journal about what your ideal life would look like if no one else’s opinion mattered.
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Make a list of areas where you’ve chosen the “safe” or “expected” path instead of what you truly wanted.
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Learn to notice your subconscious habits and default thought loops. Use mindfulness cues (like breath or senses) to bring yourself back to the present.
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Set alarms during the day to remind yourself to check in and consciously choose your next action.
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Build your “conscious muscle” with daily meditation and awareness practices.
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Reframe your old stories. You can feel hurt and still choose healing.
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Keep promises to yourself—small daily actions build self-trust.
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Support your mental work with a holistic approach—nutrition, sleep, movement, and self-care matter.
I recently discovered the work of holistic psychologist Dr. Nicole LePera, and it’s been nothing short of transformative. Her approach has empowered millions of women to heal from the inside out and intentionally step into the lives they were meant to lead. Through practical, down-to-earth tools, she teaches how to reframe your past and rewire the patterns shaped by conditioning, trauma, and limiting beliefs. What I love most? Her insights feel doable. They're not just inspiring—they're accessible, actionable, and grounded in real psychology. If you're ready for a breakthrough, watch the full video. It’s more than worth your time—it could change everything.
Closing Thoughts / Call to Action
Freedom starts with the decision to question the rules you never agreed to. You don’t need to burn it all down—just begin with one bold act of authenticity today. You are not broken or lost—you are waking up.
👉 Want support on your journey? Explore our free tools and Intentional Living Starter Kit inn our Free Resource Vault and design a life that reflects who you really are.
