What Kind of Man Do You Attract? (And How to Attract the One You Actually Want)

Tattooed couple sitting on chairs separated by a cactus, staring at each other with tension — symbolizing attraction, contrast, and boundaries in relationships.
⏲️Estimated Reading Time: 6.5 Minutes
Published on: July 20, 2020
Updated on: July 14, 2025

 

Do you find yourself stuck in the same relationship loop—attracting the same kind of partner who isn’t quite what you want (or need)? You’re not alone. And it’s not your fault—but it is your responsibility to shift it. If you're ready to break free from the patterns that keep you stuck, this post is your first step toward real change.

Inside, you'll find mindset shifts, actionable insights, and a quiz that reveals the type of man you're currently attracting—and how to start calling in someone aligned with your highest self.


1. Be the Kind of Partner You Want to Attract
We often focus on finding the “perfect” partner, but rarely pause to ask—would I date me?

  • Start by listing the qualities you want in a partner.

  • Then reflect: Am I embodying those traits?

  • Self-growth is magnetic. When you’re living aligned, you'll attract others who are too.

This doesn’t mean striving for perfection—but rather becoming someone who values what they seek in others.

"Be the person you would want to be with."- Be Sharp

💡Bonus tip: Ask potential partners about their personal growth journeys. If he has none, that may tell you everything.


2. Teach People How to Treat You
You set the tone for how others treat you by how you treat yourself—and what you tolerate.

  • Set boundaries with kindness but firmness.

  • Reward aligned behavior, not just effort.

  • Don’t ghost your own standards for the sake of being liked.

Example: If a guy consistently cancels or shows up late, yet you continue accepting last-minute plans—you’re unintentionally saying that’s okay. Shift the standard by first honoring yourself.

💡Bonus tip: Want more on setting boundaries in all areas of your life, including your romantic relationships? - Check out this blog post (🤫and additional freebie🎁)


3. Get Clear on What You Truly Want
Vague intentions lead to vague relationships.

  • Be unapologetic about your vision: love, partnership, family, or fun—own it.

  • Don’t shapeshift for compatibility. You’re not too much. You’re just not for everyone—and that’s a good thing.

Clarity repels misaligned matches and magnetizes the right ones faster.


4. Lead with the Energy You Want to Receive
Want to be treated like a queen? Show up like one—and treat him like a king too.

  • Be generous with your energy, presence, and respect.

  • Give what you hope to receive, while also staying attuned to whether it’s being reciprocated.

  • Love is a mirror. Start with your own reflection.


5. Plan for the Love You Want to Build
Great relationships aren’t accidents—they’re co-created.

  • Schedule time for fun, intimacy, and meaningful conversations.

  • Prioritize rituals of connection.

  • Make your relationship a space that feels like home—for both of you.

Treat your love life like you treat your dream career—with intention, passion, and consistent care.


Closing Thoughts & Call to Action
Your happiness starts with you. Love isn’t about fixing or completing you—it’s about complementing the powerful woman you already are. Start by becoming the kind of person you want to be with—and watch how the game changes.

You are not too much. You’re just too much for the wrong person.
Take the quiz, reflect on your patterns, and start choosing with clarity instead of chemistry. Your future self (and future partner) will thank you.

👉 Want to go deeper? Take our Quiz to find out what kind of man you're currently attracting—and how to shift it. Then, explore more of the other resources inside the Free Vault.